Tag: mental-health

Christams 2023
Posted on in Fitness

Finding Strength in Transition: Life Lessons from a Single Mom

Little did I know that this was going to be our last Christmas in this house.

I had bought this Christmas ornament as a sign that I was really trying to prepare for empty nest that seemed to come earlier than expected.

Menopause had just busted down my door and physically life changed hard and fast.

The following two years would be the hardest years I’ve had in so long.  

So long that it made being a single mom of three little baby girls look EASY.

I didn’t know it but I had slipped into oblivion and had no space left for anyone. 

I was sick and tired of people paying to train with me but not caring enough to actually reach goals but yet complaining about their body.

I was sick and tired of not knowing how to deal with my last senior.

And I was surely sick and tired of this menopause body that wasn’t normal.

I thought I had prepared myself for this time of my life but I did not.

Why, you ask?

Because I never once saw myself past getting my girls to the age of 18.

That should tell you alot about my mindset.

It should tell you a lot about where I came from and how stuck I really was.

I tried so hard to visualize myself in my 50’s and 60’s and 70’s and I just couldn’t.  

I tried so hard.

Little did I know that the real reason was because I didn’t want to stop being mom.  I still don’t.

I loved being mom and caring for my kids and spending life with them. 

My real dream was to also be a perfect wife and stay at home mom.   I just couldn’t make a relationship work.

I wanted to prove I could come from the dumps and become something great.  It was just harder than I was prepared for.

I had no support for these particular years.  My poor girls suffered my lack of support for them in their new adult life.

I just didn’t have enough of me left.  I was spent. 

Just a few months after this picture, I would be told I had 90 days to vacate after 10 plus years.

I was devastated.  For two years I stayed devastated with so much going on in  my head I coudn’t see straight.

My best years, our best years, were spent in that house.  I’m grateful more than anyone will ever know.

My girls HATED that house when we first moved in.  The drive was so long!  8 minutes long!

It was so far away from town. But I loved it.  I knew it was perfect.  It was extremely roomy even for the 5 of us.

I loved the green grass rolling hills, the cows, the red barn and the birds!

I loved hopping on my bike or going for a walk or a swim in the lake.

Winters were so beautiful.  Summers were so beautiful.  Fall was gorgeous and spring was fabulous.

Every year.

I had no clue that would be our last christmas in that house.

I had not clue the next christmas would be our last as a family held at Rachael’s house.

Relationships with my children have been altered and some not so good.  

I’ve spent much too much time grieving this process.  I really thought I had pulled out of it but no, I never did.  

Not until now.  

Why God would want me to be in despair over my children I don’t know but I’m trusting the other side will be better!

I have only two choices in life…show the world what to do when we’re down and out, or show the world how to give up.

For all this time, I knew I wanted to WANT to climb out of this hole and make something of myself but the WANT wasn’t there.  I only wanted to want it.  

But I recently found my energy and my energy flipped my light switch and I FEEL the WANT now.

How did I find it? I can only say…by NOT giving up.

I’ve was stuck in a world of people I would call unbelievers of abundance.  

Now, I’m moving into a space of abundance and letting the non-believers drop away.

Let’s GO!

Posted on in activity, Fitness, Food, menopause, personal growth, weight-loss

A Belly Full of Visceral Fat

25 years ago when I first discovered Insulin Resistance (IR), it was NOT something doctors talked about.

Matter of fact, the few doctors that did were ousted as crazy (my words).  THANKFULLY for one doctor that shared what it was and how it contributes to so many other “syndromes”, I was able to reverse mine before it was deemed I’d need meds.

Back then…they didn’t pressure you to be on meds until it was pretty bad.  Today…they pressure you to be on meds before even mentioning how to fix it naturally.

I don’t know where my desire for natural healing came from but for as long as I can remember I knew there were ways to heal ourselves.

I think it came from my memories growing up…

Dad ate Little Debbie Snack cakes and hot chocolate pudding over white bread and other sweets and junk like Frosted Flakes with extra sugar poured on top.

I can still feel myself grab that light blue sugar bowl with one end opening for a spoon and the other end opening for a pour.   I can (at this moment right now) feel myself open the pouring end and pour all over those already sweetened flakes until the top was covered!

And while I’m at it..why not a second bowl?  That’s about five (5) servings right there with probably ¼ to ½ cup white sugar on top.

No child needed that. BUT look at all the fortified vitamins and minerals it had.  We were feeding the children better, right?

I remember my mom liking mustard, horseradish, peppers, sauerkraut, and things of that nature.  

I also remember thinking “maybe when I’m older I’ll like mustard”.  I had no clue why it mattered but I thought my mom was cool so I hoped one day I would like mustard too.

I believe 100% I gained my coping skills regarding food from my dad.  

Just a couple weeks ago, my brother called me and while chatting he asked “hey do you remember driving us to school and doing that donut down on Tasker?  I remember, EVERY morning you eating LIttle Debbie Snack cakes on the way”.

Yep, that was my breakfast.  For over 16 years I ate like that.  That was the beginning of today’s heavily laden coping skills with cereals that we now call highly processed junk food.

But I learned that I have control over turning my genes on and off.  It’s called epigenetics.

My situation was not genetic.  It was HABITS handed down in my home.  

If you know my family, you’ll know that these were coping habits.  

I remember a train car had an accident and we were given a ton of boxes of Kellogg’s cereal and that was what we had many days for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I know I’m not the only one who grew up like that.  Some are growing up like that and worse today.

25 years ago when I was about to have my third daughter, the doctor told me then I was ONE point away from being diabetic.  

Can you believe they didn’t offer me meds then nor after the pregnancy?

I can tell you I got on top of that right away and began researching for myself.  

With an abdominal measurement at 38″ NOT pregnant I needed to make a change!

It was a lot of really hard work emotionally and mentally but I did it.

In today’s world they push meds on you with the tiniest raise in your A1c.

You CAN change your health by LIFESTYLE changes.

You can decide which genes are on and which genes are off.  You get to decide if you’re overweight or normal weight.  You get to decide how strong you want to be and how mentally alert you want to be.

You are in charge of you!

Set the example for the children in your life!

They need you.