Tag: life

Posted on in activity, Fitness, Food, menopause, personal growth, weight-loss

A Belly Full of Visceral Fat

25 years ago when I first discovered Insulin Resistance (IR), it was NOT something doctors talked about.

Matter of fact, the few doctors that did were ousted as crazy (my words).  THANKFULLY for one doctor that shared what it was and how it contributes to so many other “syndromes”, I was able to reverse mine before it was deemed I’d need meds.

Back then…they didn’t pressure you to be on meds until it was pretty bad.  Today…they pressure you to be on meds before even mentioning how to fix it naturally.

I don’t know where my desire for natural healing came from but for as long as I can remember I knew there were ways to heal ourselves.

I think it came from my memories growing up…

Dad ate Little Debbie Snack cakes and hot chocolate pudding over white bread and other sweets and junk like Frosted Flakes with extra sugar poured on top.

I can still feel myself grab that light blue sugar bowl with one end opening for a spoon and the other end opening for a pour.   I can (at this moment right now) feel myself open the pouring end and pour all over those already sweetened flakes until the top was covered!

And while I’m at it..why not a second bowl?  That’s about five (5) servings right there with probably ¼ to ½ cup white sugar on top.

No child needed that. BUT look at all the fortified vitamins and minerals it had.  We were feeding the children better, right?

I remember my mom liking mustard, horseradish, peppers, sauerkraut, and things of that nature.  

I also remember thinking “maybe when I’m older I’ll like mustard”.  I had no clue why it mattered but I thought my mom was cool so I hoped one day I would like mustard too.

I believe 100% I gained my coping skills regarding food from my dad.  

Just a couple weeks ago, my brother called me and while chatting he asked “hey do you remember driving us to school and doing that donut down on Tasker?  I remember, EVERY morning you eating LIttle Debbie Snack cakes on the way”.

Yep, that was my breakfast.  For over 16 years I ate like that.  That was the beginning of today’s heavily laden coping skills with cereals that we now call highly processed junk food.

But I learned that I have control over turning my genes on and off.  It’s called epigenetics.

My situation was not genetic.  It was HABITS handed down in my home.  

If you know my family, you’ll know that these were coping habits.  

I remember a train car had an accident and we were given a ton of boxes of Kellogg’s cereal and that was what we had many days for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I know I’m not the only one who grew up like that.  Some are growing up like that and worse today.

25 years ago when I was about to have my third daughter, the doctor told me then I was ONE point away from being diabetic.  

Can you believe they didn’t offer me meds then nor after the pregnancy?

I can tell you I got on top of that right away and began researching for myself.  

With an abdominal measurement at 38″ NOT pregnant I needed to make a change!

It was a lot of really hard work emotionally and mentally but I did it.

In today’s world they push meds on you with the tiniest raise in your A1c.

You CAN change your health by LIFESTYLE changes.

You can decide which genes are on and which genes are off.  You get to decide if you’re overweight or normal weight.  You get to decide how strong you want to be and how mentally alert you want to be.

You are in charge of you!

Set the example for the children in your life!

They need you.

Posted on in Fitness, personal growth

Writing on my soul

I NEVER realized how deep I wrote on my soul that my happiness would depend on my relationship with my adult children. 

I know this comes from a specific time in my childhood that I desperately needed it and couldn’t get it.  

I blame no one. 

We are all here to heal.  

It’s beginning to make sense that I so deeply waiting years, days, minutes, and even seconds to have a wonderful empty nest life that was still ao filled with my adult children that I would feel like a queen sitting atop my accomplishments of a wonderful family.

But for over two years now that is not how it is.

And I struggle to make sense of why I’m here if not for my children even in adulthood.

How did I get to this point?

How did I get to this thinking pattern that is just making its true presence known?

I was in a Facebook group for empty nesters and had to leave because it was so depressing watching grown women not want to live if their children wanted nothing to do with them.

Let alone Mother’s who jsut couldn’t seem to let the child grow up.

I was prepared for my children to go off and do great things. I really was.

I was excited for them to do better than me!

To grab life and go for a ride.

I couldn’t grow watching so many other women stay in their pool of sadness.

Ugh

I have actively worked through all these feelings looking for a way to be excited about life all by myself.

It doesn’t feel as exciting.

But I don’t want to be that mom that can’t move on.

I even convinced myself that my children have alwyas watched my behaviors so I need to keep making my behaviors strong and growing.

Because they may be in this mode someday and I need to give them something to hold on to.

If mom was able to do it, so can I!

But wow.

I did start working on this early.

I can’t imagine had I not bothered.

I can’t imagine being slapped with this feeling out of nowhere.

The best I have to go on is making sure they value themselves as a human.

If I can’t do that then I give them nothing.

So while it still hurts daily I will continue to move forward with the mindset of I need to be an example.

Being a mom was truly the best.

But what if not all my kids get to be a mom or dad.

Don’t o want them to value themselves anyway?

Ugh

I do. But I am struggling to value myself while feeling so alone.

But I will make it.

Like all other struggles in my life I have learned to take it one day at a time.

Wake up. Find a purpose in this day alone.

And pretty soon the hurt doesn’t hurt so bad.

Mom

I have loved being mom

I need to find me.

Posted on in Fitness, personal growth

Me and my intent

Me, the damaged body Brenda. Me, the solopreneur, climbing my own ladder. Me, the Empty Nest Mom, alone and finding new. Me, the trainer wanting more challenges.

The big question is…what do I want? Where do I really want to go?

I do feel my answers need to include income. But just tonight I realized what if I simply listed what I super duper enjoy and want to be, have and do and if it doesn’t include income why stress?

Haha, because we all need money to live. Many of us want to grow. We want to personally develop ourselves into our own greatness.

I don’t really feel I’m contributing to this world if I don’t grow and develop into more continually.

I despise being sedentary. An occasional day or two for an intense rest but sedentary is not for me!

I want to HEAL. I want to physically get strong. I want to grow my income to 10 times what it is. I want to visit my children at any time I choose.

I want to travel to all the state parks in the US. I want to own a house even though I thought I did not. I want to buy my mom a house.

So many things I want to do. I seem to be in a conundrum of lonliness because finding someone to share my joy and grow with me is scarce!

I hear the journey to the top is very lonely so I must remember that I’m no different than anyone else and this is a journey I am going through.

The amount of growth I’ve experienced since even July of this year is phenomenal. So I must push for my #impossiblegoals and see what life is like on the other side.

I feel the Empty Nest version of me is at a fork in the road, as is the trainer in me. I feel excitement about becoming an entrepreneur over a solopreneur. I feel excitement about creating a online program that will help thousands of people simplify the human basics to weight management and help them start enjoying life as they move toward their happy maintenance!

I feel excitement at visiting my adult children each time I “want” to and I feel excitement thinking about my mom having a place of her own!

I’m super excited to get some of my pain under control and even reversed! I’m ready to become a new person.

I keep hearing that when life feels like a super ball of mess as if it was about to all crumble is exactly when you’re about to have a growth spurt!

So let’s do it!

Let this be my record of intent!

Posted on in Fitness

ME! I did that!

I wanted a fourth child but couldn’t get the relationship right. Got pregnant and divorced altogether. But I was happy to be in a position to keep my kids near me while working and I was able to nurse my fourth child for two years.

I was so happy to provide for him what I couldn’t fully to all of my children. His dad is/was a great dad. He spent time with him from the very beginning and as soon as I was done nursing, my son spent every weekend with his dad.

I was fine with that because I had three girls 10 and under that needed me. My son also spent 3-4 evenings with his dad as well. Came home each night for bedtime and I was happy he had a father who spent a lot of time with him.

BUT…there’s a but here.

I counted and most of the time, FOUR nights a week my son would come home with left over McDonalds, Burger King or KFC. It began to bother me greatly. My son was developing serious nasal breathing issues and I was convinced his diet played a role. He would play video games with his mouth open and head down and I hated it.

I began research and obviously figured out all the toxins that come with fast food. I’m not a fast food HATER (well kind of but not really), I believe our bodies are made to cleanse themselves and detox. EXCEPT, when we OVERLOAD it with toxins so often.

It was a struggle, but as my son got older I began to put in his head that McDonalds wasn’t good to be eating every day and that he should ask his dad to eat different sometimes. This is where KFC came into play.

Ok, it’s different LOL! We kept working on it and meantime, when my son was with me he was not allowed to keep his mouth open. If he wanted to play video games he HAD to keep his mouth closed.

It took time but I WON THAT BATTLE. His stuffy nose began to disappear! Can you believe it? The habits we learn to live with are so important!

Long story short, as my son got closer to middle school / high school sports he spent more time at home and I pushed healthier home made meals on him and constantly shared with him reasons why we eat this and that.

At my studio I have posters and signs about all three macros and nutrients. At one point I kept a sign in the bathroom and he would read it while pooping. I never knew until he came home one day in middle school and said MOM! I was the only one is science class to know the answers about macros!

That’s when I learned he had been reading the sign and soaking up the information and I was ECSTATIC!

At 13 my son became interested in lifting weights. I shared some tips and as he began lifting with the new high school coach he became much more serious.

Today my son is knowledgeable enough about health and fitness I would let him lead my own clients!

I’m proud of him. He’s helped many other kids and teens and I know he’ll do great things!

I DID THAT! I taught him by leading with example! Only he’s much more ripped!

Fit and healthy