Tag: learning

Posted on in Fitness, personal growth

Writing on my soul

I NEVER realized how deep I wrote on my soul that my happiness would depend on my relationship with my adult children. 

I know this comes from a specific time in my childhood that I desperately needed it and couldn’t get it.  

I blame no one. 

We are all here to heal.  

It’s beginning to make sense that I so deeply waiting years, days, minutes, and even seconds to have a wonderful empty nest life that was still ao filled with my adult children that I would feel like a queen sitting atop my accomplishments of a wonderful family.

But for over two years now that is not how it is.

And I struggle to make sense of why I’m here if not for my children even in adulthood.

How did I get to this point?

How did I get to this thinking pattern that is just making its true presence known?

I was in a Facebook group for empty nesters and had to leave because it was so depressing watching grown women not want to live if their children wanted nothing to do with them.

Let alone Mother’s who jsut couldn’t seem to let the child grow up.

I was prepared for my children to go off and do great things. I really was.

I was excited for them to do better than me!

To grab life and go for a ride.

I couldn’t grow watching so many other women stay in their pool of sadness.

Ugh

I have actively worked through all these feelings looking for a way to be excited about life all by myself.

It doesn’t feel as exciting.

But I don’t want to be that mom that can’t move on.

I even convinced myself that my children have alwyas watched my behaviors so I need to keep making my behaviors strong and growing.

Because they may be in this mode someday and I need to give them something to hold on to.

If mom was able to do it, so can I!

But wow.

I did start working on this early.

I can’t imagine had I not bothered.

I can’t imagine being slapped with this feeling out of nowhere.

The best I have to go on is making sure they value themselves as a human.

If I can’t do that then I give them nothing.

So while it still hurts daily I will continue to move forward with the mindset of I need to be an example.

Being a mom was truly the best.

But what if not all my kids get to be a mom or dad.

Don’t o want them to value themselves anyway?

Ugh

I do. But I am struggling to value myself while feeling so alone.

But I will make it.

Like all other struggles in my life I have learned to take it one day at a time.

Wake up. Find a purpose in this day alone.

And pretty soon the hurt doesn’t hurt so bad.

Mom

I have loved being mom

I need to find me.

Posted on in Fitness, fueling activity

My MITOCHONDRIA thank me!

Tonight I finished my bike ride when I got home around 8:30 p.m. For some odd reason I also chose to bike in my shorts even though the house was cold and I hate being cold. I knew I’d be showering right after and hoping it would encourage me to pedal strong enough to get warm fast.

As I rode my bike, listened to my audio book and looked down at my thighs, I said to myself “do I actually see true muscle tone?”

Wow! I think I do. Hmmm, it must be because now that I’ve had an x-ray I’m using them more. No, not really, I’m actually doing a bit less squats than I had been the last few weeks.

I’ve not officially worked out any more than a few squats and band exercises here and there because of the damage I experienced in my hip. I tried so hard to heal it on my own but it just wasn’t getting there.

A mixture of near to zero estrogen after passing menopause and a bit of damage that grew worse.

I made so many changes this year in hopes of bringing more healing. But it just wasn’t cutting it. So I asked for x-rays and physical therapy.

X-rays showed some minor bone loss and degeneration in the hips as well as a bone spur in the right hip. Ahhhh! There it is. It made so much sense.

I had thought it might be a torn labrum but I don’t think so now. It’s very obvious that I do have a bone spur that causes me grief. When lift my leg I feel a twinge that is felt the entire length of the thigh which feels like at least two muscles crossing over that spur! I’m glad to know though and I’m excited to see what therapy will do.

I do know for a fact my hip muscles became very weak! I have been trying to strengthen them cautiously. While I felt I was doing it all right I didn’t really feel I made much progress until last week.

I also wrote that off to my imagination due to being excited to now know what’s going on in there. But tonight it hit me. The muscle tone I saw was real and when I realized I was filling my month two of my “Mitopure” tablets it all made sense as Mitopure is Urolithin A which works to strengthen mitochondria!

I remember reading what the mitochondria go through at different stages of adding Urolithin A to the diet. I am stoked to see what month 2 will be like. Having some muscle tone back in my legs is thrilling to say the least!

My skin has looked phenomenal as well. I started using the skin products a few weeks before Mitopure and I fell in love with them!

When I’m back to regular training I’m going to be the most joyous person ever! I feel like it’s been so long of a journey from the day of menopause to now. Migraine headaches, severely achy joints, irritation, it’s been tough but realistically short in the big picture. I refuse to live in misery and I’ve made so many changes in my life in the past one year alone.

It’s been many months since I had a migraine and my achy joints are better. I attribute that also to Mitopure.

I definitely promote Mitopure to anyone wanting to help their mitochondria get stronger. After all, mitochondria are our energy centers. If they aren’t working well, we feel fatigued and slugglish.

Keep watching for the rest of my success with my body! It’s been an awesome and beautiful journey of learning!

Click any of the following pictures to learn more about Mitopure from Timeline Nutrition!