There was a point at which my dad was very near the end. He might wake and look us in the eye or he might nod his head or even try to mouth a word.
Long before this I had convinced myself I was going to come with clean, pure, balanced, calm energy.
I sat on his right side holding his right hand with my left, my elbows resting on my knees, my breathing rate was very calm and I felt an intense freedom on my left side.
For some time now, I’ve thought it was because I had better control on my left side and that I was too “right” dominant to control my right side.
I felt as if someone had cinched up a handful of threads on my right seam and caused my entire right side to “cinch” up!
All this time, I have worked mentally to fix this in my brain. The more I’ve learned (it’s a TON) and the more I’ve experienced with healing my right hip, the more I understand about the human right dominant experience and our tendencies. I have come to realize what was really happening with my sensations during my fathers passing.
I was actually feeling my body at a rest it’s never experienced before.
The cinched feeling around my right wrist was the after effects of spending 50 years with tight tendons and fascia around my wrist.
The rope like pull I felt from the right occiput down through the right trap and into the rear to mid shoulder joint, was the residual effect of tight neck and shoulders from a habit of carrying stress in my neck and shoulders.
It wasn’t that I “couldn’t” relax, I WAS relaxed and fully relaxed. It was simply that the right side of my body was worn like an OLD PAIR of shoes because of my habitual tendencies. My left side felt like a barely worn NEW PAIR of shoes!
Old, used, rugged and frayed small and large ropes resided in the place of medial and lateral tendons up and down my neck, shoulder, arm and even into the hip and knee.
All this time I thought I couldn’t truly relax, it was. I was simply feeling the EFFECTS of a lifetime of HARD RIGHT dominance.
While I know I can build the strength back up, and even gain better mobility on the right side of my body, I will always have more damage on the right than the left.
If I can help others become more aware of their own dominance, I believe I can help the framework of their body stay stronger longer.
One thing I preach to my clients on a regular basis, is to do things with the opposite side as often as possible!
Whether it be to hold a door open with the opposite foot, or to use the opposite hand to unlock a door, OR brush your teeth with the opposite hand!
I’d love to introduce my client Andrea van der Laan. I believe I first met her in December 2012 when I first opened my fitness studio on the west end of town.
When I met Andrea she was the Superintendent of Buchanan Community Schools and very active in the community. As she continued working toward more movement we got to know each other more and more.
I’ve lined up a few interview questions for Andrea as she’s had such wonderful progress over the last ten years.
Andrea, what is your first recollection of meeting me? And what inspired you to begin fitness classes?
Andrea: Great question! I had gotten into a habit of skipping breakfast and had relied on lunch around 11 each day. This was not reality. I was moving from meeting to meeting where there were snacks (donuts, cookies, pies etc.) Many times, last minute meetings interfered with lunch and I found myself in the mid-afternoon slump which led to finding something to eat. Again many unhealthy choices. I had gained a lot of weight. I had an aha moment when climbing to the second floor of the high school and had to stop half way to catch my breath. I also discovered I could no longer bend down to tie shoes and putting my foot on a chair to do so was a hard task.I realized I was way too young to be this out of shape.Coming from a family with heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes, this scared me.
When Bucktown Studio opened I was excited to start exercising. These classes were the basic aerobic and pump and sculpt classes. As much as I tried, I was not a regular. I remember meeting Brenda with the pump and sculpt class. I really liked her instruction and upbeat attitude while teaching.
When Bucktown Studio moved downtown , I followed her and continued to try several classes including yoga and zumba. I even went to some weight watcher meetings that were offered. Some of the weight came off and I was sleeping and feeling better but my 12 hour days still did not allow me to be a regular. However, I do remember making sure I went to her pump and sculpt class. It was my favorite. I was happy at this point just making the attempt to get better.
BLTraining: Health and fitness go hand in hand but yet the two are completely different. Health has to do with the quality of your state of being and fitness has to do with being able to perform tasks physically.
At what point do you feel you began to get serious about your overall fitness? What about the health part of it?
Andrea: When Brenda rebranded to BLTraining and moved, I decided to follow her due to the way she instructed her classes. I do remember trying aerobics and found I had a hard time getting through 20 minutes. I also remember hating to sweat. While I was starting to lose weight (perhaps 10-15 pounds at this point), there was a time I didn’t feel weight was coming off fast enough and almost decided to quit going. But Brenda kept changing and learning and she started sharing her knowledge not only about exercise but also about muscle groups and nutrition. We started more focused strength training, learned about small muscles, did cardio, discussed nutrition, etc. These little tidbits were making sense to me even though I didn’t always follow what she was sharing. Believe it or not, I really didn’t get serious about the fitness portion until 2017 when I retired! By this time, Brenda was moving into personal training and really focusing on flexibility and movement. I signed up for a personal session. I was not flexible at all! She pointed out several areas for improvement but started small. She gave me several exercises to do during the week before we met again. I met with her one on one for a month or two. She then started an IMPEL class which had five members in it. These were the same five women who followed her like I did. As we moved into talking about nutrition and sharing our failures and successes, they were a great support group. If I didn’t show up for a class, there was often a text asking where I was. At one point they asked if I was home eating potato chips. I replied that I was not. I was eating pretzels! While funny, it also goes to show how we were holding each other accountable. Brenda had even had us setting goals and was starting to weigh and measure us as we moved through our journeys together.
BLTraining: What was life like regarding caloric intake, quality of food intake before you began to get serious?
Andrea: I focused solely on exercise, flexibility and movement for almost three years. Brenda continued to push and started asking us about calories. If we came to a night class without at least 1200 – 1500 calories, she would not let us participate in the class. (Take into consideration this was after she had really gotten to know us and started to push us harder. I was no longer afraid of sweat. As a matter of fact, if I didn’t get sweaty, I didn’t think I worked out at all!)
Brenda was continually talking to us about macros and calorie intake. Many other programs I had tried (weight watcher, nutrisystem, fitness pal) wanted me to be at 1200 hundred calories in order to lose weight. Yes, these programs also talked about healthy eating but I was ALWAYS hungry and continued to fall back into bad patterns.
We first focused on macros (protein, carbs, and fats). We discovered I was getting less than 10% protein per day, my fiber was low and carbs were mostly junk food. I worked very hard at getting my protein up and now average 25-27% protein PER MEAL. I am continually working on carbs (fruits and veggies) and healthy fats. Overall, my macros are usually balanced at every meal.
When Brenda wanted me to eat 1800 calories a day, I found it difficult to do so. I was full all the time.
I had lost about 25 pounds by this time but had plateaued for more than a year. Brenda looked me in the eye and told me it was in the kitchen! In other words, look at what I was eating and move to more nutritious food.
To be honest this is a continual struggle. I rely on my support group for help. After getting my protein in line, my next goal was to get in 3 veggies a day and to get rid of snack foods. When I started focusing on this, I dropped another 15 pounds. There are times when I still eat too many cookies and have too many snacks during the week. Brenda knows me so well that she will text me and ask how I am doing. She usually “catches” me during these moments and I get back on track. That doesn’t mean I can never eat a cookie, have a piece of cake, etc. I just don’t want to binge on them and my goal is to mostly eat healthy all the time. I am a work in progress. Even though I am in Florida during the winter, I still get exercises from Brenda, do activities on my own and hear from my support buddies. This winter I am currently down another 5 pounds. I also try not to eat under 2200-2300 calories per day (yes, I still have 1700 days but more often I eat over 2300 calories. I even have some 2700 – 3000 calorie days). The more active I am, the more I eat. I also have learned that if I don’t eat enough and keep my protein up, I end up with sore muscles and in some cases minor injuries.
Interestingly enough, my inches have gone way down, I am no longer embarrassed to wear tank tops (I am actually quite proud of the muscles 🙂 I have gained.) I am way more toned in every part of my body, down to a size ten, and am way more flexible than I have been in 20+ years. My cardio is to the point that Brenda has to really push me to get my cardio up! I am sleeping 7-8 hours per day as well. My overall health is better now than when I was in my early 30’s.
BLTraining: What was this part of life like after you began to get serious back then?
Andrea: I have to move! I play pickleball 2-3 hours at a time several days a week. My husband and I are active competitive pistol shooters which also takes a lot of concentration and movement. I do some kind of activity on a daily basis even if it is just stretching and walking. I eat breakfast every morning within an hour of waking up. I try to work out in the mornings. This means eating when I am done. This might mean a snack between breakfast and lunch. I also may What was this part of life like after you began to get serious back then?
have another snack between lunch and dinner. If I eat an early dinner, I often have a snack at night. Popcorn has become a favorite. I am eating constantly. I am learning to listen to my body and eat when I am hungry. I continue to focus on healthy eating even though this is still a struggle. To date, I am down approximately 40 pounds and am now at about 14% body fat. I am no longer considered obese by the medical field.
BLTraninig: Did you find you had a hard time making changes?
Andrea: YES! The “kitchen” is my biggest struggle. I really have to think about what I eat. This may mean I eat differently than my husband. I make smoothies in the morning to which I add spinach. When I make scrambled eggs, I try to add peppers and onions. If I make a breakfast burrito and don’t have onions and peppers, I add salsa. I keep baby carrots and celery in my fridge for munching. I also keep apples, blueberries and halos. My husband and I also eat out a lot. If I eat hamburgers, I try to get a side of broccoli instead of fries. If it’s pizza, I have a side salad. Even with all of this, I am a work in progress when it comes to eating. This is my biggest struggle and continues to be so.
BLTraining: Did family or friends make it harder or easier to make changes?
Andrea: Both. I have family and friends who are very supportive, help me when I struggle, and encourage my progress. I also have those who think that by buying me chocolate, extra pie, etc. is what I want even though I tell them no thank you. I love chocolate, ice cream, and snacks like everyone else but I do NOT want them in my house. If I want them, I will go buy one candy bar or an ice cream cone and eat it right away.
If these things are in my house, I still don’t have the “willpower” to stop with one cookie. I will eat a BIG bowl of ice cream instead of one scoop. I am still a work in progress. I am better if these things are not in the house.
BLTraining: What does your active lifestyle look like these days?
Andrea: I start the day quiet (I am slow to wake up). I make a smoothie, drink my coffee, and take the dogs for a walk. I try to do some warm up exercises or some yoga. By 8:00 I am playing pickleball. This goes on for 2-3 hours. When I return home, it’s time for a snack, some stretching and then feeding and walking the dogs. Many days I also log onto Brenda’s app and also do the exercises she has programmed for me. I eat lunch and have snacks along the way. The rest of the day may be reading, doing home chores, gardening, etc. I do stop during the day to read, catch up on paperwork, watch T.V., etc. but mostly I am moving all the time.
BLTraining: How many calories do you typically intake currently?
Andrea: I try to stay around 2200-2300 most days. If I am really active, then I eat closer to 2700.
BLTraining: How many calories do you typically output currently?
Andrea: Most weeks I expend between 2200 – 2500 calories per day.
BLTraining: What do you find is the easiest part of your active lifestyle?
Andrea: I love moving. I have a hard time sitting still and am always looking for something to do. I have found that having daily exercises to do from Brenda is very helpful. I try to do those daily in addition to other activities. I really like Brenda’s app and count on this especially on rainy days. I know what she programs for me is based on my fitness level.
BLTraining: What do you find is the hardest part of your active lifestyle?
Andrea: Eating enough. I find it difficult to get rid of past perceptions of how people are supposed to lose weight. I have always been taught to exercise more and eat less. This has proved untrue. The more I exercise/have activity, the more I need to eat. The more I eat, the more muscle I gain and the leaner I look.
BLTraining: Overall how do “you” feel about yourself and your lifestyle right now?
Andrea: On a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the highest, I would give myself an 8. I struggle with eating healthy and continue to work on this. I am not sure whether I need to lose more weight (If I do, I would guess about 5-10 pounds) or whether eating healthier would bring the belly down more than it has already. I would say I am in maintenance mode at this point. Overall, I am really happy with how I look and feel.
BLTraining: What advice would you give to someone of middle age who currently does not incorporate fitness into their lives but are considering it?
Andrea: Get started with something even if it’s just walking daily. Move, move, move. I would also suggest yoga to begin getting some flexibility.
BLTraining: What advice would you give to those who have not yet chosen to make changes?
Andrea: It’s never too late no matter how old you are! I just met two women who are both 75. They play an excellent game of pickleball. I hope I am just like them when I am their age. I really didn’t get started until I was 59. I will be 65 in April and I am in better shape than when I was 30.
BLTraining: What is your favorite motto in life?
Andrea: Move it or lose it!
And there you have it folks! In my opinion, it pays to live your life around the environment you most want to be like! These stories lift me high! These stories make me deep down happy!
BCAA stands for Branched Chain Amino Acids. Amino Acids are molecules that combine to form proteins.
Branched Chain Amino Acids are three specific amino acids that benefit the body in a great way regarding health and fitness. These three are Leucine, Isoleucine, and Valine. These three stimulate the building of protein in muscle.
Amino acids are the building blocks of ALL LIFE.
What does that actually mean? It means, when your body has to use, make, end hormonal processes…it is done by using a host of different proteins which are amino acids and enzymes!. It means, that our immune system uses proteins as fuel. So many that I can not even possibly list them all here.
Many years ago, I read about a study that said those who eat 30-40 grams of protein at breakfast and again at lunch had on average 50% more protein synthesis throughout their entire day!
I realized this is why my good days were so good! I was eating my share of protein early on in the day.
Dr. Stacy Sims is a researcher of women athletes and their specific physiology. I’ve read her book “Roar” and I’ve also taken her menopause course. I’ve learned that these protein requirements are even more important for women than they are for men.
When our female bodies go through the life changes, we need to “already” have lots of circulating proteins in our body.
To endure a virus that attacks us, we need to already have lots of proteins in our body for our immune system to work effeciently.
Women’s bodies work different than a male’s body. They lose weight easier, they tend to eat more junk food without gaining weight easier…we women simply need to be informed and ahead of the game.
I like to focus on no less than 30 grams of protien from wake up to noon. Then I focus on 30 more grams before 3-4 pm. Then more in the evening.
I also supplement with a BCAA drink in the morning, preferrably on an empty stomach so that those proteins can get to work!
I also use BCAA as a drink right after a vigorous training or high activity. This might be a mountain bike trail ride or it might be spring cleaning!
Dr. Stacy Sims recommends BCAA for two reasons…
1. It will help counter some of the central nervous system fatigue and clear some of the brain fog.
2. It also keeps some of the amino acids circulating and a high level in the blood to work with the other food you’re eating to stimulate muscle protein synthesis.
She is also quoted as saying “The thing that people forget is that (BCAA) Leucine crosses the blood brain barrier and helps our central nervous system fatigue and one of the biggest things we have in peri and post menopause is brain fog.”
If you’re ready to start adding protein to your life (there are hundreds more reasons to do so than what I’ve discussed here) CHECK OUT my recommendations page! You’ll find the exact products I use!
Can addictions truly be things other than substances? Can we really be addicted to behaviors? Can we be addicted to anger? What about happiness? And chaos?
Whether those things fit the true definition of “addiction”, I’m not sure, but I do believe we can learn to depend on certain behaviors and substances and even emotions. Especially chaos! Which is why it’s important to always be committed to personal growth. My children watched me grow out of many negative behaviors from my childhood. Substances, behaviors and emotion! All of them!
It’s been a lot of work but I find a lot of joy in personal growth. I truly hope I’ve set a good example to children for always growing to be a better human.
I wasn’t supposed to be an Empty Nester for another year. Circumstances have changed and I find myself an Empty Nester a year early.
One thing I find that I’m struggling with months into this is the addiction to being Mom. I’ve been parenting for 27 years now. Making sure my school aged child is on par, has everything he needs and teaching him to be prepared in the final year as he enters adulthood. These are all things I’ve always looked forward to. Hoping to provide things I never had.
I liken this challenge to what it might be to quit cocaine cold turkey.
Now, one might say, how can you assume what it’s like to quit cocaine cold turkey when you’ve never been addicted to drugs? Well, I’ve been addicted to substances such as nicotine and while it doesn’t sound so serious, Diet Pepsi. Before you judge, I’ve drank 1-2 two liters of Diet Pepsi per day since I was 16. I’m now 54. For years I carried a 2-liter just about everywhere I went. Never truly realizing just what it looked like to drink from that big bottle like it was a sippy cup.
I quit drinking Diet Pepsi in February of this year. It really was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Migraines that used to appear maybe once a month became weekly and then almost daily. I’m truly thankful I was able to make all the right choices to overcome this addiction in the best way possible.
My point is, having to stop being Mom cold turkey is HARD! Very HARD. I am constantly working on my mindset. Daily, no hourly!!! Hourly I’m working on my mindset from minute to minute some days.
I’m filling my time with advancing my wealth while I’ve been advancing my health.
I’m working on remineralizing my body and mastering healthier eating habits. I’m also adding digital product creation and sales as well as focusing on my virtual programs as well as in person personal training clients.
My digestion has never been better than it is right now. I’m eating more calories and yet the scale remains low.
A couple months ago I hired a health coach who has been guiding me on the remineralization and I’ve got two wealth coaches who are just the best!
I’m excited to see where I’ll be at the end of this year, having overcome my challenges and reached some new goals.
I’m FREE of all addictive substances! NO MORE DIET PEPSI!
I have A LOT to share about this journey and how I STOPPED MY MIGRAINES but the short of it is this…
Last fall I tried a drink to help a friend out. I liked it. But I was just helping a friend out by trying some.
WHOA, later after it was gone I realized I kept wanting more…so ODD!
Several clients kept asking about collagen so I decided to get on the wagon and research it.
Wow, lot’s of cool benefits to collagen. But, I kept desiring more. SOOO, I ordered more.
What I noticed this time was that I didn’t care that I wasn’t downing my Diet Pepsi! It’s as if it just didn’t matter.
So, I got inspired. I’M GOING TO QUIT DIET PEPSI!
I set my date for Valentine’s Day! 2/14/2023
I prepared my mind. I prepared my soul. You have to realize I’ve drank this since I was 16.
I set myself up with lot’s of my new drink and here we are! THREE MONTHS DOWN!
I wanted to complete three months because I started getting MIGRAINES more often!
If you want to hear how I stopped my migraines, keep reading.
Otherwise, I have samples now of this new favorite drink of mine that keeps my body filled with ALL THE GOODNESS it needs!
COMMENT ME in the comments and I’ll send you the details!
MIGRAINES…for over 20 years I’ve always gotten a migraine just before my period would start. No big deal, most of the time it was just a headache but every three months or so it was BAD! In bed, lights out, no moving.
But I could handle it a few times a year. Then I passed menopause last year and the migraines had become more monthly but 24 hours and it was doable. I had accepted that for whatever reason the hormones made it happen.
Then I quit DP (Diet Pepsi) and all of a sudden it seemed the migraines were coming every two weeks, then a couple times a week!
I was very worried. Something else was going on. Some people said “just drink your pop”. I said NO I’m giving it three months!
I thought that I possibly had a mineral imbalance. I started researching that. I also knew for a fact that histamine was playing a role.
One night it became very obvious that this was a NERVOUS SYSTEM issue.
I said to myself “I know that if I allow myself to be open the answers will come” and WALLAH there it was!
I searched up histamine and migraine and the first thing that popped up was an enzyme that metabolizes histamine in the brain. You can be born without it or acquire it’s absence throughout your life.
HNMT and DAO metabolize histamine in the body. HNMT specifically in the brain.
Using methyl donors it takes care of histamine. But I did a silly thing.
For 20 years I’ve taken my CellSential vitamin/mineral supplement. I’ve only thought of stopping it twice in my life and both times it took 30 days before I knew I had to keep them.
Last holiday I really thought I was ok not taking them for a while since I wanted to work on some other things.
Well guess what’s in a GREAT cellular nutritional supplement???
You guessed it, methyl donors. Those silly long names on the vitamin list that we never really know what they’re for…this is one example.
So, if I was born without or happened to lose my HNMT, I now didn’t have a buildup of methyl donors in my system either!
The trick I’ve been able to use every time and I’ve not had one migraine in about a month now, is diphenhydramine. Yep, Benadryl. IT WORKS! I’ve already started building my system back up with my cellular nutrition and I’m still taking lots of my favorite energy drink for all my other needs. Soon I won’t have to use Benadryl because I’ll have all the methyl donors I need in my body!
I’m divorcing Diet Pepsi. We’ve been separated for three whole days now. Today is day four. I’m calling the divorce final at two weeks and one day.
Why two weeks and one day? Because it’s what I choose and from my experience with other addictions and my clients addictions I know that when I pass the two week mark I have made it and I’m in control.
I have lived and breathed Diet Pepsi (which I’ll now call DP). Literally. I’m slightly embarrassed to share this story but I’m mostly making this change because others have shared that it’s possible. Isn’t that what life is all about? Sharing our struggles and overcoming them?
I can still feel the moment. I’m sixteen and driving and have my first job. What do I do? I stop and get my DP and a Little Debbie Fudge Brownie and make sure I’ve got my cigarettes.
This was my life. For years. The very three things I became seriously addicted to and would fight to remove them later.
Thankfully, when I started having kids my thoughts and desires changed. I didn’t want them to copy me so the changes began.
Quitting cigarettes was first and hardest. I tried everything and then realized I had to change the blueprint in my mind. I assumed since my parents, and everyone else for that matter did, I was born to smoke. But I changed that thought which led to me quitting.
Finally, after three children I noticed I’m struggling with energy and sleep and belly fat big time. Back then we didn’t know quite what we know now but the information was out there, I just had to research and piece it together. I had pre diabetes. The doctors told me I was near it but not enough to push me on meds and of course, I didn’t want meds. So my journey began.
After my fourth child, I got more serious. I had practiced learning about food by providing meals to my daycare children. My eyes began to open about nutrition. I chose to start working part time at the local Y instead of daycare in my home and after a year I was down 20 pounds to about 160 ish. My belly was still there! But I had taken a liking to personal training much more than fitness classes so I began researching and learning.
In 2008, I decided my last eating binge would be Easter day. I had learned to track calories and found that I binged terrible! On Easter Day I had over 7000 calories. A lot of that was sugar for the drive home to stay awake.
The day after Easter I began my journey with eating Low Glycemic (LG). This came from a program called RESET and it saved my LIFE! I learned the most valuable information there!
I also realized I had an addiction that needed tackling. Sugar. Little Debbie Snack cakes were my first battle. It was my go to for everything and I convinced myself that I wasn’t eating that many but when I tracked them, I was eating a lot and enough to keep me insulin resistant.
EVIL. That’s how I had to change my mindset. They were EVIL. So were pancakes in the morning and donuts. ALL DONUTS!
I removed the items that I felt I couldn’t control.
Pretty soon I loved how I felt regarding my blood flow and couldn’t stand how I felt if I chose to eat sugar! It got easier!
The next year I lost another 20 pounds in my midsection. I believe it was about five inches!
There it was! My perfect self!
But guess what? I wasn’t prepared for horrible life experiences and choices. What about when devastating things happen and it’s traumatic? I fell! And I fell hard.
Having the tools in my tool chest is what has saved me every time! Each time a life event happens now, I am better and better at handling it!
The latest being my father’s death. I have not dealt with death since I was young so this was hard. But I’m privileged to have been there to tell him I love him and for him to tell me he loves me. I was able to handle it well and while I gained a few pounds, that had much more to do with continuing my eating pattern for training but not training and instead driving to see him over many weeks.
Today I am tackling the last true addiction I have and that is Diet Pepsi.
I’ve tried every other diet pop and no success. I’ve tried all kinds of other drinks and such but I have always come back to DP. What I have found is that if I drink a nice ice cold collagen or Taka drink they actually suppress this desire for DP for a while. I am choosing to use these as my crutch because they are filled with nutrients my body desperately needs!
I think it’s possible I have been depleting so much out of my body by the amount of DP I have a habit of drinking. Taka replaces this for me and helps me move on! When I first tried Taka months ago I knew it was going to be the move I needed to make this happen!
As I write this, my mouth craves DP. It craves the bubbles. It craves the “hit” of dopamine bad! But I am controlling it and I have my mind set on know that this too shall pass. Water, Taka, Collagen and proper macros at meals are helping tremendously!
LIFE HAPPENS FOR US, not to us. My mentor Jessie Lee preaches this and it’s something I’ve learned from other mentors but she says it out loud the most and she’s right. LIFE HAPPENS for us. I would not be this strong helping others through similar journeys if I hadn’t gone through what I had gone through.
Now I look forward to struggle. Because I know I will learn and grow and to me that is what life is about. GROWTH
I have not mastered anything, but I am practicing everything!
Brenda Lee Lewis, Me, Mom, Trainer 